If you love something, let it go…to France for a year.

Have you ever heard the expression, Those who can’t do, teach? For the record, I disagree. Everyone knows that those who can’t do, blog. And I’m lucky enough to do both! I’m heading back to France this fall to teach English at the University of Nantes. Je m’appelle Professeur Lucy. Continue reading

Of Mice and Women

Warning: this post is not for the faint of heart (or for the easily-annoyed-by-white-girls-complaining).

Did you know that en français, “mouse” and “smile” are the same word? Yeah, if you wanted to say, “You smile at the mouse,” it would be, “Tu souris à la souris.” Except you don’t smile at the mouse. You scream and throw shoes at the mouse. Continue reading

Live Free or Diet Hard

Since arriving in New York, my days have been packed. It’s cool that I get to travel for work, but getting off a train from New Jersey at 10:30 pm doesn’t leave a lot of time for health and wellness. You know what they say: when the going gets tough, the tough get fat. Plus it’s easier not to eat when you get home when you’re not going home alone, and since Leonardo DiCaprio still hasn’t noticed me my man’s far away in Tennessee, I’ve fallen into the habit of thinking, “My diet starts tomorrow.” Absence makes the butt grow fatter.
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Shiver me Tinder

Given the surplus of #SingleGirlProblems on Twitter, the internet’s overwhelming obsession with cats, and the fact that wine ice cream even exists, it’s pretty clear that the world is made up of single ladies (cue Beyoncé). If you feel like Johnny Lee circa 1980 and are lookin’ for love in all the wrong places, maybe it’s time you tried a little TLC: Tinder Loving Care. Continue reading

Lies Carrie Bradshaw Told Me

#confusion

#confusion

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The Biggest Big Boob Problem

You’ve probably noticed that I’m a pretty controversial figure online. You know, always trying to rock the proverbial boat by posting about taboo topics, like which wine stains your teeth the most and what happened on last week’s episode of The Walking Dead. Once I mentioned having trouble finding Twizzlers in Europe and the internet totally freaked out on me. Anyway, today I’m going to get even dirtier and talk about something completely NSFW, which means you should definitely keep reading. Continue reading

I’m new around here…

Living in New York must be an acquired skill, because everyone who lives here appears to be really good at it. It seems to me that New Yorkers all have heels that don’t give them blisters, umbrellas that don’t get all inside out every time the wind blows, and cool accents that make them sound way tougher than my southern drawl ever could. Oh, and did I mention that they wear all black and look effortlessly chic all the time?

Oscar Wilde (supposedly) said, “You can never be overdressed or overeducated.” Yeah, I’m going to go ahead and say that I proved Mr. Wilde wrong on that one. Continue reading