So you know in the opening scene of Breakfast at Tiffany’s, when Holly Golightly is all nomming on that pastry and you’re like, “Someone who looks like Audrey Hepburn would never eat a pastry,” or maybe someone who eats a pastry would never look like Audrey Hepburn…either way, you’re like, “Okay, this movie has lost all it’s credibility, it is clearly a sci-fi flick.” But the point is, some skinny chick is eating a fat girl breakfast and it baffles you, you know? Yeah, WELCOME TO PARIS.
Take Vanessa Paradis, par exemple. She’s a goddess. Now imagine if she were fat. Yeah. She wouldn’t be getting the attention of Johnny Depp, she’d be getting the attention of an orthodontist.
Or our beloved Audrey Tautou. The French adore her, and she’s ADORABLE, but she dresses like a pilgrim. And it’s cute when she dresses like a pilgrim. It’s not cute when fat people dress like pilgrims.
So what’s the deal? The skinny on French women, if you will. Well, people credit it to “portion control,” which I think is true to an extent. For example, there has been a half-eaten chocolate bar in my host family’s refrigerator for almost a week now. There would NEVER be a chocolate bar in my fridge at home. No, not because we’re so skinny that we never eat candy…because it wouldn’t SURVIVE! Do you think anyone in the Bell household would be able to sleep at night knowing there was chocolate in the kitchen? HA.
But really, portion control my (fat American) ass. They must be putting phentermine in the crêpes or something. But fear not, I’m going to get to the (tiny, bony) bottom of the mystery that is Hungry Chic.