Monthly Archives: September 2012

Hungry Chic

So you know in the opening scene of Breakfast at Tiffany’s, when Holly Golightly is all nomming on that pastry and you’re like, “Someone who looks like Audrey Hepburn would never eat a pastry,” or maybe someone who eats a pastry would never look like Audrey Hepburn…either way, you’re like, “Okay, this movie has lost all it’s credibility, it is clearly a sci-fi flick.” But the point is, some skinny chick is eating a fat girl breakfast and it baffles you, you know? Yeah, WELCOME TO PARIS.

I’m pretty sure pain au chocolat is French for cellulite. Yet you never see a fat French woman. Continue reading

Oui ou Non? Escargot

Oui, escargot is the hamburger of Paris.

Château du Clos Lucé

Somehow I mixed up my Leonardos, and wound up at da Vinci‘s château instead of DiCaprio‘s. Quel dommage. But as it turns out, Leonardo da Vinci was kind of a badass and invented, like, 6000 things, including the helicopter and the latex condom. Continue reading

Phrases Utile

When traveling abroad, it is good to learn basic language. “I’d like a beer.” “Where’s the bathroom?” “I need a taxi.” “Just not in my hair.”

Below is a list of useful phrases (followed by the translation and pronunciation) that I compiled for one of my friends who was brave dumb enough to come to Paris sans any knowledge of French.

-Bonjour: Good morning.
-Bonsoir: Good night. “Bon-swa”
-Comment ça va?: How are you? (not super formal) “Com-aunt sa va?”
-Bien: Well. “Bee ehn.”
-Où sont les toilets?: Where is the bathroom? “Ooh sont lay twa-lets?”
-Où est …?: Where is…? “Ooh ay…?”
-Je voudrais …: I would like … (ordering food/drinks) “Je voo-dray…”
-Je ne parle pas le français: I don’t speak French. “Je ne parrel pa le francais.”
-Parlez-vous l’anglais?: Do you speak English? “Parlay voo l’ang-lay
-Je m’appelle Lucy: My name is Lucy.
-S’il vous plait: Please. “See voo play”
-Merci: Thank you.
-Non/Oui: No/Yes
-Je suis perdu. Voici mon address.: I am lost. Here is my address. “Je swee pear-doo. Vwa-see mon addrESS.
-Pardon: Excuse me. “Par-DON”
-Voulez-vous coucher avec moi? Just kidding!

Comment if you think of any I left out. Bonnes vacances!

The Help

As Jeremy and I were watching crying through The Help last night, I started thinking about all the reasons it resonated with us.

For starters, we can all relate to Skeeter Phelan. As someone whose frizzy hair presents myriad obstacles in life, I can empathize. And when her family is convinced she’s a lesbian, I mean, we’ve all been there, right? (RIGHT?! Maybe that’s just me…) Not to mention she looks SO badass rippin’ cigs and writing on her typewriter. I’m sure that’s exactly how I look when I work on this blog.

Second, we’ve all had to deal with someone like Regina George Hilly Holbrook in our lives.
Continue reading

Not Feelin’ It…

You know those people with a rebound time of -5 hours? Before you’ve even finished your drunchies, they’ve rested and are ready to rally?

Take Jérôme, for example, he’s ALWAYS ready to go. That’s part of why we’re so perfect, I’m the same way…until I’m not. To quote my favorite Barbadian philosopher, Rihanna, I’m 0 to 60 in 3.5.

Photos literally taken within an hour of each other

Some nights you’re just not on the pursuit of happiness and not in the mood to hear that Kid Cudi is, you know? So on those nights, don’t be a Debbie. Tell your friends that you just aren’t feelin’ it. Chug some Smart Water, rent a movie on itunes, do what you need to do, but get your boring ass HOME.

Baby’s First Gay Bar

What better place to go with your gay bestie than a gay bar?!

That’s a no brainer, a piece of gluten-free rice cake, right? WRONG. As much as I like boys who like boys, the feeling isn’t mutual! That’s right, THEY DIDN’T WANT ME. I think the bouncer’s exact words were, “This gay club, it for boy only.” Shit, Ferdinand, don’t you know my gay bestie and I are going to bring in some serious revenue tonight? Continue reading