In 2006, Abercrombie & Fitch had a gray t-shirt that said “Single and Ready to Mingle” in brown, curly font across the chest. When my 8th grade boyfriend Pablo Gibbs (née Gomez) and I broke up, I wore said t-shirt to school the very next day. I can’t remember if I bought the t-shirt preemptively or if it belonged to one of my step-sisters, but I bore the words like a badge of honor that told the world I was on the market. In this context, “on the market” means “able to spare a slow dance at the next mixer.” Things were simpler then. ISIS wasn’t a threat, and I wore a size 2. A breakup was painless enough that I was ready to wear a t-shirt about it less than 24 hours later. Fast forward 10 years, and I’m not so stoked to “mingle.” After collaborating with 3 of my girlfriends, here is a list of 25 things single women are actually ready to do. Continue reading
Dear Europeans of BuzzFeed, what have I done?
“Started World War III,” according to someone.
Apparently my last article upset you so,
But there are a few more things that I think you should know.
I wanted to explain but still be aesthetic,
So I said “Lucy, let’s get poetic.”
Netflix, swim trunks, pizza delivery, and the US dollar, just to name a few…
Made of Solo Cups. Because this is Amurica.
Abroad, it gets so annoying that you’re like…
But after being home for a month, you’re like…
My friends are like…
At this point, you’re probably sarcastically saying, Were you, like, in France or something? because I pretty much incorporate it into conversation anytime I get the chance. Is she still going to talk about living in France? Well it was basically the peak of my life so YEAH, I’d say I’m still going to talk about living in France. But just for a minute.
Remember what I said last time about being in Limbo? I take it back…
It’s time to face the strange ch-ch-changes (thanks, DB): I’m back. For real.
I know you scholars probably saw “Lucy in Limbo” and were like, Lucy’s hanging with the virtuous pagans and guiltless damned, what? Sorry, English majors, but I’m not going all Dante Alighieri on you just yet.
I know what you’re thinking… Aren’t you, like, home or something? Yes, fine, Lucy is not in Paris…but the blog lives on.
Let me use the Kübler-Ross model to explain the stages of grief that I’ve been experiencing since my return…
1. Denial: This is NOT my permanent residence! I am NOT changing the name of my blog! Continue reading