25 Things Besides “Mingle” That Single People Are Ready To Do

In 2006, Abercrombie & Fitch had a gray t-shirt that said “Single and Ready to Mingle” in brown, curly font across the chest. When my 8th grade boyfriend Pablo Gibbs (née Gomez) and I broke up, I wore said t-shirt to school the very next day. I can’t remember if I bought the t-shirt preemptively or if it belonged to one of my step-sisters, but I bore the words like a badge of honor that told the world I was on the market. In this context, “on the market” means “able to spare a slow dance at the next mixer.” Things were simpler then. ISIS wasn’t a threat, and I wore a size 2. A breakup was painless enough that I was ready to wear a t-shirt about it less than 24 hours later. Fast forward 10 years, and I’m not so stoked to “mingle.” After collaborating with 3 of my girlfriends, here is a list of 25 things single women are actually ready to do.

1. Single and ready to drink your feelings.alcoholfungif

2. Single and ready to eat cake in bed.blankspacecakegif

3. Single and ready to change your Netflix password.Typinggif
Because you don’t get your own profile anymore, mister.

4. Single and ready to never shave your legs again.notshaving

5. Single and ready to whine about it.singleafgif

6. Single and ready to wine about it.morewinegif

7. Single and ready to dress like a slut.semislutgif
Note: women should dress however they want without being labelled, anyway! Go women!

8. Single and ready to make whatever the hell you want for dinner because IT’S ALL FOR YOU.beyoncekale#teamkale

9. Single and ready to Facebook stalk anyone who has ever spoken to your ex.ineedhelpgif
10. Single and ready to get a dollar slice on your way home.inlovewithpizzagifBecause it’s not going home alone if you have pizza.

11. Single and ready to celebrate.singleladiesgif

12. Single and ready to focus on your career.peggyolsenbadassgif

13. Single and ready to focus on yourself.treatyoselfgif

14. Single and ready to take shit from no one.cookierespectgif

15. Single and ready to watch your favorite shows without judgement.kardashiansgif

16. Single and ready to egg his car.taylorswiftcargif

17. Single and ready to egg her car.ceelogreengif

18. Single and ready to apologize for egging her car because we women really should support each other.tinafeygif

19. Single and ready to become a crazy cat lady.catladygif

20. Single and ready to talk shit in the group text.hatethesamepeople
Because if you don’t hate your friends’ ex-boyfriends more than they do, are you really even friends?

21. Single and ready for some retail therapy.mean-girls-shopping

22. Single and ready to move across the country.byefeliciagif

23. Single and ready to sing Adele in the shower.singinshowergif
Plus there’s nothing like a good shower cry.

24. Single and ready to make fun of guys on Tinder.rebounds-everywhere

25. Single and ready to blog about it.blogginggif

Got somethin' to say? Leave a comment!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s