In 2006, Abercrombie & Fitch had a gray t-shirt that said “Single and Ready to Mingle” in brown, curly font across the chest. When my 8th grade boyfriend Pablo Gibbs (née Gomez) and I broke up, I wore said t-shirt to school the very next day. I can’t remember if I bought the t-shirt preemptively or if it belonged to one of my step-sisters, but I bore the words like a badge of honor that told the world I was on the market. In this context, “on the market” means “able to spare a slow dance at the next mixer.” Things were simpler then. ISIS wasn’t a threat, and I wore a size 2. A breakup was painless enough that I was ready to wear a t-shirt about it less than 24 hours later. Fast forward 10 years, and I’m not so stoked to “mingle.” After collaborating with 3 of my girlfriends, here is a list of 25 things single women are actually ready to do.
1. Single and ready to drink your feelings.
2. Single and ready to eat cake in bed.
3. Single and ready to change your Netflix password.
Because you don’t get your own profile anymore, mister.
4. Single and ready to never shave your legs again.
5. Single and ready to whine about it.
6. Single and ready to wine about it.
7. Single and ready to dress like a slut.
Note: women should dress however they want without being labelled, anyway! Go women!
8. Single and ready to make whatever the hell you want for dinner because IT’S ALL FOR YOU.
#teamkale
9. Single and ready to Facebook stalk anyone who has ever spoken to your ex.
10. Single and ready to get a dollar slice on your way home.
Because it’s not going home alone if you have pizza.
11. Single and ready to celebrate.
12. Single and ready to focus on your career.
13. Single and ready to focus on yourself.
14. Single and ready to take shit from no one.
15. Single and ready to watch your favorite shows without judgement.
16. Single and ready to egg his car.
17. Single and ready to egg her car.
18. Single and ready to apologize for egging her car because we women really should support each other.
19. Single and ready to become a crazy cat lady.
20. Single and ready to talk shit in the group text.
Because if you don’t hate your friends’ ex-boyfriends more than they do, are you really even friends?
21. Single and ready for some retail therapy.
22. Single and ready to move across the country.
23. Single and ready to sing Adele in the shower.
Plus there’s nothing like a good shower cry.
24. Single and ready to make fun of guys on Tinder.
25. Single and ready to blog about it.
As Blog is My Witness 