Category Archives: Bein’ Frenchy

Oh you France-y, huh?

Sweet Dreams Are Made of Cheese

When we imagine French women, we think long, lean, chic…à la Françoise Hardy.

And when we imagine French food, we think bread, cheese, butter…à la croque-monsieur.1204082364_FLPm6-M

Hold up. Is it just me, or do those two trains of thought seem incompatible? Like do they expect us to believe that SHE ate THAT? Clearly something doesn’t add up here. Continue reading

Le Noctilien: FAQ

Because you know anything’s better than walking alone. tumblr_ma1ywtMsyx1rpt3hd

1. Who takes the night bus? tumblr_menynoMATZ1ryf8if
Continue reading

When a French guy tries to do “bisous” upon introduction…

You act all…scratchy_bleedy

But really you’re like…tumblr_lm5r2gwvZO1qhnx85o1_500

Oui ou Non? Karaoke

Oui, karaoke was all the rage in Cannes (les français just couldn’t get enough of us! <<<<so we thought…), but I have yet to encounter it in Paris. If anyone knows any good spots, holla at me.

Oui ou Non? Halloween

Oui, Halloween exists here.

Non, les français don’t dress up.

And there is obviously no Halloween candy to be found…those skinny bitches.

Oui ou Non? Peanut Butter

Non, the French really aren’t into beurre de cacahuètes. They usually have it in the foreign food aisle, which cracks me up first of all, but they only have kind of janky brands, no Jif.

I asked a French girl about it, and she said that peanut butter is really bad for you. I was like, qoui? Putting ham and cheese and butter on bread is just as many calories as PB and J. She said, “Yes, but you’d rather have ham and cheese and butter.” No, what? Anyway, they eat Nutella the same way we eat peanut butter, like with bananas, on bread in the morning, etc.

Nutella:France as PB:Amurica

Assimilating: Blackout

When in Paris, blackout or get out.

If wearing all black is wrong, I don’t want to be right. Don’t wear any colors or people might think you’re happy. Just kidding, but really.

Just remember, BLACK is the new black. Black goes with everything. When in doubt, wear black. Sure, you might look slightly goth, but hey, you’ll look Parisian.

**photos of Paris Vogue team**

Oui ou Non? Napping

Oui, taking an afternoon nap, or faire une sieste, is a very Frenchy thing to do.

Assimilating: Trench Like the French

Tie it in the front; tie it in the back; wear it open; get one in black, blue, and even leather; wear it in the rain; wear it in the Spring; wear it in the Winter; hell, wear it as your bathrobe–sporting a trench coat is an easy way to keep warm while looking très française.

Damn you, Burberry! As if owning one green leather jacket isn’t enough, I am currently obsessing over this lil’ number. Hello, lover!

The trench coat is a Parisian girl’s staple piece.

Assimilating: Going Sans Bra

The stereotypical French woman (or European woman, really) is pretty, but like ACTUALLY pretty. Naturally pretty. She’s thin, chic, and fabulous on her own. She doesn’t need a flat iron or makeup or even a bra.

What’s Frenchier than going sans bra? If you studied French in Action in high school, the boys in your class probably obsessed over the fact that Mireille (who, as it turns out, is a PORN STAR, but that’s another story) NEVER wore one.

So naturally, you would think that going out without a bra is just another step towards looking like a vrai Parisian, right? Like wearing all black or drinking espressoWrong. French women don’t wear bras because French women don’t have giant boobs. And actually French women do wear bras. So no, going sans bra probably won’t help you achieve your goal of looking like a real live French person, but hey, why not try it anyway?

The night Kat and I tested this theory…