Monthly Archives: November 2012

Mot du Jour: MDR

MDR: the French version of LOL. It stands for mort de rire, which means “death of laughter.” Cute, non? Though I was recently told (by an actual French person!) that the French do know and use LOL and that quelques français even SAY “lol” (not “L-O-L,” literally “lol”). lol.

That time we laughed in Tours


VDM is the French version of FML.

It stands for Vie de Merde, and the site contains vos histoires de la vie quotidienne (your everyday life stories). Their slogan is “Ma vie c’est de la merde, et je vous emmerde,” which kind of means “My life is sh*t, and I don’t give a f*ck.” This isn’t a direct translation. Technically it means “My life, it’s of sh*t, and I f*ck you,” but somehow I don’t think that’s exactly what the French are trying to say. Either way, it’s a little more harsh than FML’s subtitle, which is “Get the guts to spill the beans.”
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Would you like some pita with that Hamas?

Toute de suite, everyone’s all, “Hamas is going to destroy Israel!” and I’m all, “Take a chill pill xanax. Sure, olive oil has a deceivingly high fat content, but isn’t pita bread the real enemy–” OH.
19 oz of crushed chickpeas and 2 tbs of tahini do not a militant fundamentalist organization make, and Khaled Meshaal is not served with tapenade.
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Bouledogues et Bébés

Should small children be allowed in formal settings or not…it’s one of those controversial social topics, much like gay marriage or the sanctity of life. Normally I consider myself pretty liberal in these areas (healthcare for all! let them get married!), but this is where I draw the line: do not bring a screaming infant into a fancy restaurant!

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No Country for Old Penis

Everyone who’s anyone is involved in the General Petraeus scandal. I mean really, at this point I just feel left out…

In a nuthouse nutshell, General David Petraeus made the mistake of having an extramarital affair with this super intense West Point chick, Paula Broadwell, who was writing her doctoral dissertation on their pillow talk. They even set up an email account where they saved their sexts as drafts, a technique used by terrorist organizations. Nothing says romance like an illegal gmail account.
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I fell for (and on) my prof…

Speaking of faux pas, last week I may or may not have straddled my professor…
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Mot du Jour: Faux Pas

Faux pas: social blunder. You know, like wearing colors in Paris or Abercrombie past the 8th grade.

Drinking a Natty with a cop might be a faux pas. Whatever the hell I’m wearing in this photo would also fall into that category…

Mot du Jour: Pompette

Pompette: basically the equivalent of “tipsy” en anglais. As in it’s only okay for girls to use this word, and even then not really.

So the next time you get into the cups and your host Madame is all, “Oh, tu es ivre (drunk)! Vraiment beurré (wasted/buttered)!” You can be all, “Nonnnn, je ne suis pas ivre! Je suis juste pompette.”

Oui ou Non? Karaoke

Oui, karaoke was all the rage in Cannes (les français just couldn’t get enough of us! <<<<so we thought…), but I have yet to encounter it in Paris. If anyone knows any good spots, holla at me.

Mot du Jour: la monnaie

Today’s mot is only my very favorite French word EVER: monnaie.

monnaie (noun, feminine): currency or change. As in, do you have la monnaie for a dollar?
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