Bouledogues et Bébés

Should small children be allowed in formal settings or not…it’s one of those controversial social topics, much like gay marriage or the sanctity of life. Normally I consider myself pretty liberal in these areas (healthcare for all! let them get married!), but this is where I draw the line: do not bring a screaming infant into a fancy restaurant!


There’s nothing worse than having to shout over the sound of a crying baby when you’re trying to enjoy a nice dinner. It’s like finding a rat in your pasta, but worse because you don’t get any free food out of it.

En France, however, this is not a problem. Blame it on having fewer hormones in the chicken, blame it on eating less chicken in general, who knows, but children and animals are just BETTER here.

In France, you can bring your dog on the bus. You can bring your dog on THE METRO. Hell, you can bring YOUR BABY on the metro. And it’s no problem!

They, like, follow you off when you leave. I don’t just mean the dogs, I mean the babies too. Vraiment IN-CROY-ABLE.

You better believe my first child will be half-French.

The babies here don’t cry. And the dogs don’t bark. Seriously, French bulldogs, like, wear berets and discuss existentialism. It’s amazing.

Should’ve known that even children and animals would be superior in France…

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