Live Free or Diet Hard

Since arriving in New York, my days have been packed. It’s cool that I get to travel for work, but getting off a train from New Jersey at 10:30 pm doesn’t leave a lot of time for health and wellness. You know what they say: when the going gets tough, the tough get fat. Plus it’s easier not to eat when you get home when you’re not going home alone, and since Leonardo DiCaprio still hasn’t noticed me my man’s far away in Tennessee, I’ve fallen into the habit of thinking, “My diet starts tomorrow.” Absence makes the butt grow fatter.

I’ve been trying to get some exercise in my free time, but since the sun generally isn’t out during my free time, I always text a friend before I leave. I usually go for something comforting like, “If you don’t hear back from me by midnight, my body is in the Hudson.” One of my friends responded, “So typical that you would die on a power walk.” My tombstone would say, Get skinny or die trying making a half-ass attempt. That should be the slogan for my lifestyle brand.

But why is it that sitting at a desk in an office makes you so much more tired than sitting at a desk in class? Or sitting in your house? Or even walking around? I could go on a 6-hour hike and have more energy at dinnertime than I do after writing a competitive research report. It’s bizarre, I get home from work and I’m so hungry I could eat a horse three granola bars in a row. Not to mention that the thought of going to the gym makes me want to eat three more. #LifeInTheFatLane. But why?!

According to scientists, and by scientists I mean me, it’s because working makes your brain really tired, and since your brain controls the rest of your body, everything else gets really tired too. Exercise, on the other hand, releases endorphins. tumblr_mq7jzkDD4m1szx1oxo1_500

Whatever, I’ll cleanse in August.

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