As Blog is My Witness

Sometimes when I’m teaching a class, I pretend like I’m hosting a variety show…and by sometimes, I mean always. I think of my lesson plans as “bits,” and when I call on students, I refer to them as “volunteers from the audience.” The only thing missing is a laugh track like sitcoms have, which might be tough to acquire, considering the fact that most of my classrooms don’t even have projectors or speakers. Luckily, my fan club students have to laugh because I’m so funny grading them. Continue reading →

When I used to imagine my first apartment, I envisioned a balcony, bay window, wine cellar, clawfoot tub, rooftop terrace with a crackling hearth, maybe an exposed brick wall or two, an unconventionally cute neighbor to help me carry my bags…you know, the usual. When I actually began searching for my first apartment, I adjusted my criteria a little. The three factors I considered while apartment hunting were location, number of dead bugs, and price of rent–in that order. Continue reading →

“Been around the world, don’t speak the language
But your booty don’t need explaining
All I really need to understand is
When you talk dirty to me
Talk dirty to me
Talk dirty to me
Talk dirty to me
Get jazzy on it.” -Jason Derulo

I would like to write a strongly worded letter to Mr. Derulo, in which I reprimand him for giving me this false sense of security. I’ve “been around the world” and I actually DO (sort of) speak the language, and can I just tell you that whatever the locals are saying in the bedroom COULD NOT BE FARTHER FROM MY MIND? French landlords do not “get jazzy on it.” Continue reading →

Have you ever heard the expression, Those who can’t do, teach? For the record, I disagree. Everyone knows that those who can’t do, blog. And I’m lucky enough to do both! I’m heading back to France this fall to teach English at the University of Nantes. Je m’appelle Professeur Lucy. Continue reading →